Thursday, October 30, 2014

The pitfalls of apathy


Over 4 years since a blog post. Those who have stuck with me, God bless you.
Those who haven't, I honestly don't blame you.

I had a weird dream last night.

My uncle Michael showed up unexpectedly at a party with a size 9 dress for me. He said we were doing a family photo shoot in June and he bought matching clothes for everyone. I was like, uh, dude, I am sooooo NOT a size 9.

And then HE said, you have 7 months, you can get down to a size 9.

Abigail turned and looked at me and said, I bet you $500 that you can do it.

Anyway, dreams are weird.

I woke up and told Robert and he asked, "Well, why can't you?"

I'm not going to shoot for a totally ridiculous impossible goal and then get all discouraged when I find out it's a physical impossibility. (unless I starve myself of course)

AAAAAND I'll be out $500. (Everyone knows dream bets are legit)

Though I don't know why dream Abigail would bet me that I could lose the weight. I could just not do anything and I would win. Bad move, Abigail..... Bad move.

But your dream faith in dream me is sweet :)

Ugh, I'm boring myself. I'm so boring lately. Nothing interests me. I'm going through the motions. Last night I told Robert I want to do something to the house. We've lived there almost 2 years and have done almost nothing to it. Just painting it would be the easiest thing in the world.

Then I woke this morning and thought, meh. All my interest was gone. Robert told me years ago that I make big plans at night because it's too late for me to do anything about it. I told him years ago that I'm a lazy ass. Apparently, that's not a good excuse anymore.


A big part of it is that I'm overweight. It's a circular, familiar argument. I don't want to do anything because I'm tired. I'm tired because I didn't sleep well last night. I didn't sleep well last night because I had heartburn or I had pain. I had heartburn/pain because I'm overweight. I'm overweight because I'm too tired to do anything.

One big fat ugly circle.

Those who have ever dealt with weight problems (cough, cough, EVERYONE) will understand what I'm saying.

You see, I would love to get out of the house and enjoy my youth. Take walks with my husband. Play with my daughter. Dance with my friends. Get this godforsaken house in some kind of order.

But I'm tired, y'all.